What Didn’t Matter Before
The sins which pass unnoticed beset a man on the Day of Judgment. Avodah Zarah 18a
Unnoticed – “Hypocrisy and rationalization transform the tokens of religious life from sources of grandeur to sources of shame.”[1] Stone goes on to suggest that worshipping God in a state of “uncleanness” is worse than not worshipping Him at all.
How did we get into this despicable state in the first place? We certainly did our best to clean up those deliberate acts of disobedience. We might have struggled to remove some habitual sin, to live a “moral” life. But then we discover upon more careful reflection that a good number of our actions are the result of simple cultural accommodation. They don’t seem to be violations of God’s delightful instructions because we have become used to them. But when we really look, we find that more often than not we are either excusing our behavior because it doesn’t seem bad to us, or we are claiming the high ground but actually allowing cultural assumptions to rule the choices we really make.
The best, and most persistent, example of this rationalization and hypocritical behavior is eating. Our society put off the biblical requirements concerning food centuries ago. As a result, without actually thinking about what we are doing, we consume digestible product which the Bible does not consider food. And when our attention is drawn to this discrepancy, we either respond with an excuse or a rationalization. We cover up our sin with “common sense” and culture. The things that pass unnoticed will be revealed on the Day of Judgment, and then it will be too late to change.
I imagine that most of us have, at one time or another, attempted to come to terms with kosher. So perhaps “food” is no longer swept under the cultural carpet for you. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t other things—things that if you really stopped long enough to consider, you would realize that the source of their justification is not the Bible but rather the society. Perhaps how you dress, the words you use, the nearly automatic judgments you make about other people, the bias you show toward some, the assumptions you make about others, the way that you maneuver in order to achieve maximum success for yourself, the double standards you employ—all perfectly acceptable in the society but all suspect under the holiness of God. Things you don’t usually even think about. Well, now is the time to think about them.
What actions and attitudes have you rationalized as “not really being that bad”? What have you habitually done and found ample excuses for doing? How do you take care of yourself in ways that you know might be on the edge of righteousness but don’t cause waves in the culture? Once we embark on the pathway toward holiness, most if not all of our common behaviors will have to come under scrutiny—now or then. Better now. Day 13.
Topical Index: unnoticed, Avodah Zarah, excuse, rationalization
[1] Ira Stone’s commentary on Moses Luzzatto, Mesillat Yesharim, p. 108.
Thanks skip to today’s post after reading it, I thought to my self , some of these things I have done,now I have to search myself, ask for forgiveness and make a 360 degree turn better now than then.
Pretty powerful. So honest question, when I do some self reflection it doesn’t take long before I realize, “Ya I’m a piece of work and mess up a lot.” I know everyone is a “work in progress” but after I self reflect, what do you do? Choose one out of the 50 things to work on and work on that, do it perfectly move to the next?
It’s difficult to A) Not be convicted by post like this B) Quickly feel over whelmed C) Start to worry about letter of the law… exp: “Is this being done 100% correct?” almost an analysis paralysis
My impression as I’ve done Torah (I’m pretty new it’s like 3 years for me) has been: as things are revealed do them the best I can. I’ll probably find out that I’m doing them wrong and I can tweak them later. Also that I need to remember I’m not in Israel, so somethings are going to be impossible. Example would be Lev 11 with what foods to eat. I do the best I can but don’t kid yourself, their is ‘trace’ on essentially every push cart, every check out making your food not ‘kosher’. So you can be eating carrots every night and the person before you had pork shoulder and your carrots are all ‘traced’ up. Doesn’t mean not to try but let’s be honest it’s pretty much impossible to be 100% on that here.
But there is no excuse for action items with other people. How we treat people, that doesn’t matter if we are in Israel or not. That’s just past behavior learned which is viewed as acceptable in a culture that teaches you if you are man, treat a woman this way, if you are a woman treat a man this way. If you have a disagreement, act this way. If you see someone different then you, do this etc. Essentially none of it is Torah based.
So full circle, with those action items, what do you do? Choose one? Because working on all of them seems a bit overwhelming. And while working on one, how do you feel about the other 49?
Derek,
I have/had similar thoughts. Some things are critical, cut and dry. Implementation forms from initial action and ongoing thought and amplification as it “lifes” itself out, so to speak. You simply don’t think about certain aspects until you’ve put them in to an action form.
I’ve become more stern in moving toward applying torah, but simultaneously, more relaxed, in a sense, in delighting in my desires of action in obeying. It’s the “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” environment. I’ve adopted the mentality of endeavoring to walk in the garden with him while taking detailed note of the experience. With application and repetition the mechanical parts become common with the increased energy to tweak and modify my behavior as I’m walking and as I become aware of what is involved.
For example, eating out has become more of an exercise. I don’t just think about what I want to eat and where, but what type of menu is served and what is available. Cracker Barrel has great vegetables, however, they chop up micro fine pork in many of them. I certainly can’t take out all the pieces of pork. I initially did that believing I got them all in favor of some delicious greens. Presently, I just don’t order them as I have discerned I am just fooling myself and dishonoring him in appeasing my appetite. He rules, not my taste buds.
The most difficult so far are the appointed times. I need some better understanding and guidance in this area. What to do? How to do it? What am I to understand in observing it (do it whether I understand or not, however, do it.) How to arrange work around these appointed times and what if I can’t?
All in all, the journey is rewarding and fulfilling. As I go, I find more help, direction, and understanding in it all. It is a continuous and piecemeal process having had no formal upbringing in these practices.
Nonetheless, a rewarding, in my opinion, endeavor. I am grateful he finds pleasure in me with it somehow.
What if the ‘little things’ ARE the big things? What if we get it all right like Martha (who was concerned for the temporal necessities) but in the process, we neglect to get it right like Mary (who was focused on the spiritual necessities)? What if I do ALL the rules, but do them for the wrong reasons? What if the wrong spirit actuates right actions? What if I say “sorry” like a little kid with gritted teeth and murder in his eye, or show up at church just because I wanted others to think something of me? What if I took all the baths at all the right times, but did it for the purpose of making it impossible to determine on the surface the filthiness of the accusing thoughts of others; the judgment, the superiority, the indulgence of the essential competition we all seem to think we must engage in to ‘get ahead’? What if I followed all the rules SO AS TO ‘get ahead’ (what does that mean? does get ahead mean that others must be behind?) What if I got all the “Lord, Lord’s” right, just to stand before the Throne and hear “depart from Me”?
And about that food. What if I ate all the right things, but about the time I figured I had it ‘perfect’ a spirit of self-congratulation showed up and made my prayer of thankfulness into hypocrisy? Would digesting it do me any good then?
Our culture is permeated from top to bottom with the wrong reasons for all the right things. We tout organic; natural; pure. Sure. Those are excellent. But in the flesh, even if we do manage to get the correct reason to do it (proper care of our body, which is righteous), we must still employ wrong motivations, even if we manage to get the reasons in the ball park. I know eating right is good for me. The Law isn’t the problem here. We can all agree that it is good. We should all take good care of our health. BUT, in the flesh, how do I overcome the secret self hatred I harbor in my life long enough to take that care? In secret, when I feel bad about myself, I turn to those carbs to raise my seratonin (which goes into the gutter the instant I agree with that self hatred). What does the world suggest? Why, employ the spirit of self hatred even more! It gives me all kinds of ways to beat myself up so as to get myself to do right. It gives me motivations like jealousy (shows me pictures of skinny people so I can want to be like them); accusation (you aren’t doing it right!); unloving (you are not good enough); even altered states of reality (say this mantra, use this repetitive maneouver to ‘trick’ yourself), etc. ad nauseum. This is why the flesh can never do the Law. It has no power to overcome the sin that already exists in my life.
No, to do righteousness, I have to turn to a Source outside my sinful flesh for the power (freedom) to do it. There are powerful motivations for sin in my life already installed. I am already cursed with bondage. I am already fractured from myself, others and G-d. These fractures cause me, predispose me, to even more temptation. I know I should eat right. But, in areas of my life where fracture exists, and I don’t feel connected, my seratonin levels reflect that fact, and, unless and until that fracture is fixed, I am going to have no natural resistance to carbs, or exercise, even, or to using media or other substances to numb out or raise that seratonin, which I must have to live. The only answers the world has for this state is to temporarily rob Peter to pay Paul: I can use self hatred (adrenaline realities) to temporarily overcome my seratonin needs, but they will be back, and needier than before. No, the only way to get doing right right is to be FREE to do it. Obeying the Law does not set me free (salvation from sin). No, I need to be saved from self hatred (delivered to love myself properly) BEFORE those seratonin levels are going to be high enough already that I no longer need those carbs, and thus am free to eat right. For the right reasons.
I would like to contend that righteousness (obeying the Law with a pure heart, which means rightly motivated, to me) is a SIDE EFFECT, if you will, of salvation. People sit there and worry all day long about the ultimate salvation of their souls, and about the Law, even, but can’t seem to be bothered about the little things, like whether or not they are hating themselves right this minute, and need to whip into Krispy Kreme. I would like to humbly offer the thought that salvation only works when I avail myself of it, and that is a continual process. I have to repent for self hatred when I see it, and take my peace BEFORE I am free to obey. This is why I go through my life repenting. I have to be saved from my sin in each moment, before I am free to obey the Law.
To those who are struggling with the Law, may I say a few words? First, Someone died for you to save you from the death you already deserve. That blood was shed to cover all the stuff you haven’t gotten to yet. All that is required of us is to work with the conviction that we have right now. He understands the rest. It is Greek to be obsessed with perfection. To me, it is Hebrew to realize that this is more like a cooperative dance moment by moment. There is a reason that it is called a Way. The Way is not a thing I do to be free from sin. No, the Way is a person I dance with after He frees me from bondage. The Law does not come separate from its Giver! Halleluah!
I don’t mean to come off as challenging, your post has made me think though…what does it even mean that, “someone has died for you to save you from the death that you already deserve” or, “…the way is not a thing I do to be free from sin”?
I know I’ve said this phrase before, but I don’t think I get it the more I think about it. Because I still feel that I have bondage of sin. Coming to Torah has just made me realize how much I do sin because now i have something to compare myself too. This is not meant as anything other then confusion but, I have zero idea what Yeshua did for me ‘the first coming’ and how that is going to make any difference in my sin life. Because I still sin, I still am going to die, I still struggle with things of my past. The things that I’m told that Yeshua did for me, they’re things that I don’t even think we are suppose to be concerned about or have our focus on ie things that aren’t right now but are in the future. (Can you hear the heresy coming on strong?) So what difference does it make? Again, not trying to be rude, but just ‘work’ it out.
I agree, with the Greek is obsessed with perfection. I’ve heard many of Rabbis describe sin entirely different then what was ever told to me growing up as a Catholic. Their take is, everyone does it, doesn’t make it acceptable but you teshuva and tomorrow is given to you so that you can do it better. Also uncleanness, isn’t the end of the world – just make yourself clean and move on. Is that entirely wrong?
I am leaning toward the ideas Derek iterated. If YHWH’s grace is that which atones for us then, as Skip proposes, it leaves what Yeshua did via his sinless death and resurrection as eliminating the ultimate destination we all face, death. For it all to fit together, it seems to me, then, as it has been delineated on this blog, no, we do not participate or seek after torah obedience as a vehicle of our salvation from sin which totally came from YHWH’s atoning grace, but we walk in torahs ‘way’ in order to partake and experience the life it points to, illustrates, and explains because his love for us incites, demands and motivates us to love him back out of gratitude, thanks and awe. If sin is that which separates us from YHWH via our actions and choices, there has to be some value in it’s opposite. Yes, sin results in death. Only YHWH can bring back life to what is dead. He does that somehow through his atoning actions toward us, all due his willingness and hesed. To some degree, if I understand some of the underpinnings of hesed, YHWH obligates himself to extend atoning actions toward us because he loves us. I shouldn’t need to say because he loves us “so” much when his l love is enough as it is revealed in hesed. That love is completely satisfactory.
Avoiding prolonged contact with fire to my body isn’t an exercise in obsession, it is simply healthy and logical actions to take in order not to be influenced and marked by fire. Fire burns, as does sin. I don’t need some magical incantation or super power to avoid it, only a choice of my will.
It may be we have difficulty choosing not to be burned by sin at each opportunity because we don’t really see or comprehend what a burn to us sin actually is. Our eyes surely are dulled by a largely torah-less framework. We simple do not understand the real difference between life and death as defined by torah. Maybe we need to simply listen to torah, obey, and reset our standards such that we see anything contrary to torah as fire hot and burning, so to speak. Am I being too simplistic?
Yeshua’s devine life, one that reflected perfectly YHWH’s torah that he was even referred to as the torah himself, must have been one, in a sense, of no choices at all except that which aligns itself with torah. To me, it might appear that Yeshua also had free will, and he had to have had, obviously. However, if one’s outlook is so tuned to walking in torah, then when the notion to sin arose, there was actually no choice at all. A divine mind sees sinning, walking contrary to torah as hideous, as death itself and therefore no choice at all. Is YHWH not a liar because he chooses not to present falsehoods or because, to him, there is no life in any other choice but truth, hence, no other choice but to choose life and truth, that is torah?
Same is true with the concept of cleanness versus uncleanness. I, for one, haven’t been brought up, raised and understanding this concept from a hebraic standpoint. As Derek points out, “just make yourself clean and move on.” A perfectly understandable action and concept to those first century followers of the way. Just do it, with the right motives, as Yeshua continually urged, and move on with life. Makes sense to me in a very simple way.
Then comes moving the idea of sin as a burning consequence to me with the replacement understanding of what our sinful choices does to YHWH. Forget about what it does to me. What about what my sin does to YHWH? I think until we see that rebellion as a dagger pushed in to YHWH’s heart, it is simply an academic and obsessive legalistic exertion.
Isolating and identifying those things in my life contrary to torah isn’t legalistic regalia, it is a deliberate effort toward holiness. Both Rabbi Shaul and Yeshua urged us in this manner: “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called . . .” Eph. 4:1 Isn’t that calling have at least something to do with holiness, i.e. torah living?
My generation has been seeking freedom when we should have been seeking to be a prisoner to a walk worthy of the holiness as defined by torah. It isn’t legalistic to strive to rest within the boundaries of life itself, it is freedom, indeed.
I can walk up the the edge of a thousand foot high cliff and jump but I would then be taking myself outside the boundaries of life right in to the realm of death itself. I would have a journey of a thousand feet before death actually overtakes me. However, the whole trip down I would certainly know it was coming. The closer I get to it the faster it seems to be moving toward me. It certainly isn’t legalistic to avoid that scenario, it is wise.
Michael, I am still chuckling. It’s like, Duh!
I have been wanting to ask, how’s your father these days? I used to pull those 24/7 shifts when a client of mine would end up in desperate shape, and it is constant like nothing else quite is. I wanted to tell you that you are a beautiful person to me, and I think of you. I also wanted to say, remember to take care of yourself, too!
Now you’ve got me chuckling, Laurita! Sometimes things seem “duh!” to me but not usually before a long spell where my brows crinkle (with my mouth mostly hanging open) trying to read, digest and figure out what someone is saying. It’s mostly a look of being stupefied more often than not. And then, every now and then, I have those “aha” moments. Usually rare, though.
Sorry to have you miss the news: my father died in January 2014. It was a long road to death for my father having been bed-bound for the last two years or so. Sadly, I must say death seemed a good thing for him. He suffered in many ways a long and grueling time. It certainly was a relief to my wife and I, sadly to have to say. It wasn’t a pleasant time in any shape or fashion. Quite a revealing time as well as to the nature and character of physical death. Up close and personal is was a time of very emotionally days/nights and an often very exhausting existence. He had good moments but mostly difficult ones. It isn’t fun or fulfilling to be bed bound in a withering and feeble body. Hospice was wonderful, though. Hospice is full up of Angels, and very spot on in providing assistance and care to my father and us, as well.
Thank you for asking.
It seems a distant memory now in many ways, however, sometimes little things in life bring the memory and realities of the ordeal slammed to the frontal part of our brains. It makes us gasp audibly at times thinking and remembering those times. I wouldn’t wish it on any body, and yet it happens on a daily basis around the world. Amazing. I’m exhausted just thinking about it all again.
Wow, Michael, I was turned on to Skip Moen early in 2014, but apparently right after the death of your father. I am trying to systematically wade back through all the old TW’s, but still haven’t read them all. Thank you so much for telling me. I am so sorry. I think sometimes that the exhaustion is mercy’s way of gently persuading us, on both sides, to let go of life. There is nothing in us that wants to die, or be separated! That’s how we are made. This evil stuff is just so weird. I really like how you talk about your Path. You seem to be acclimating to the back and forth. Relationship is sure different! Obedience is what should look normal. Every once in a while, I even see it that way! Keep on keeping on, brother.
Derek, I need to be challenged all the time, so please; scratch my itch! Seriously, we are all figuring as we go, its just easier to figure sometimes with somebody. I found that all I ‘thought’ I knew, along with you and so many others, too, I really had no clue what it meant in my life. I have suspected sometimes that something is not really true FOR ME until I have just ragged it to pieces and convinced everybody around me I must be an incorrigible heretic for questioning such ‘obvious’ stuff. Well, I think I have learned on this site to quit repenting for being a heretic! (Thank you, Skip!)
I think you are hitting your nail on the head with your questions, though. I remember setting out to get to the bottom of the first one where you asked what it meant that “someone has died for you to save you from the death you already deserve”? Yeah, what does that mean? To me, where I am at currently with that right now in my self talk (and you are going to understand it differently, I guarantee!) is that I know I have already sinned. I have already been in agreement with death; have already done actions (and refused to do even more actions) that should have killed me if not for grace already, even before I realize what they are. As I am still a long, long way from getting this connection business, which are the actions of the Law in my life, I know I am going to still sin tomorrow. And if and when I die (if Yeshua does not come back before I do), I will still not have it all down. I need covered! And that is what I pray. To be covered for what is still lacking. I need time to get sanctified! If I had it all already, I would no longer need Someone to die for me. Well, I still do! When I repent for what I have sinned for, I repent for what I CAN see and what I haven’t seen YET. Both are forgiven. BUT, when I DO see, then I must do something. The Holy Spirit is gentle, and does not convict me of more than I can handle at any given point, and I am only responsible for what I have been convicted of. I am being saved from death on all I don’t see or haven’t gotten correct yet. I am going to need saving from my sins up until my last minute at this rate! But I am being saved! Halleluah! Yeshua died (has died before the foundation of the world, is dying, will continue for all eternity?? I mean, those wounds ARE still open even now, aren’t they? I don’t know how eternity works for the G-d sort) to set my account back to zero so that I could get another crack at it. A fresh run at righteousness. If I didn’t get forgiven for hating myself a minute ago (because I saw it and repented) I couldn’t do the right thing to love myself in this one. If I didn’t get handed forgiveness towards that person who abandoned me when I needed them most (because I asked for the gift of forgiveness, and it got graciously given me!), then I am not going to be able to face them with a smile and a twinkle in my eye and say “Hey, let’s try again”.
Which brings me to the question you asked about the Way vs. bondage from sin. What is bondage? It is the curse I call down as a consequence of sinning. When I sin (fracture relationship on some level with G-d, myself, or others, according to what the Law tells me), I have chosen death, as I must be connected in all dimensions (love) to survive. Literally. The only reason I didn’t die instantly from that fracture (because I cannot live without love) is grace. BUT, the curses, which I see as G-d’s way (grace!) of giving me time and motivation to choose differently (repent), make my life heavy to impossible. The curses tie me to what I give power over me. If I give someone else that power (fear of man, say) then I am in bondage to that fear. It will rule my life. I broke Command #1. When I repent, I get forgiven, which is to say, SAVED from, that fear (bondage), leaving me FREE (salvation) to choose better next time (have no other gods before YHVH). I have to be free (from the bondage to sin) before I can do right (be connected in relationship). I cannot ‘fix’ a broken relationship on my own in my flesh. I have no power to do it, because power IS freedom, which I do not enjoy when I am fractured! Relationship (righteousness) IS POWER. I have none without it. Repentance is what I have been given to return myself back to the freedom (power) to choose rightly. I can only be righteous when I am NOT in bondage. Repentance comes first. Sorry to say, in my life, that would mean always. I bring nothing right to this deal. BUT, that’s ok! As long as I am sorry about that! Halleluah! I can repent my way to righteousness! I’m taking that deal! That’s the Way for me!
Hope something helps, Derek. I was a good way along before I realized I didn’t have to listen to the voice of accusation. That’s not how my Daddy talks to me, so I don’t have to hear it! He loves me. That’s all I need to listen to. He loves you, too. All He cares about is if we keep showing up. Sin fractures us from Him, but repentance keeps fixing it. When it is fixed, I am free to do right, because love comes from Him, and love IS the Law fulfilled. He does it in me, through me, and for me. My job is to ask Him to, and then let Him. That give-and-take, that dance, is what creates a Path for me.
@laurita hayes @Michael C thanks for responding. I’ll have to mull on everything. Lots to consider.
Skip,
Just wondering . . . this 30 day journey you are walking, with us in tow: It seems there is surely a book in this just from what you’ve written thus far.
What will you title it? 🙂