You’re Like Me

yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you—since I am such a person as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus  Philemon 1:9  NASB

Appeal – You know this Greek word.  You just don’t know it in this context.  The word is parakaléō, usually associated with the Christian idea of the Holy Spirit.  What it really means is “to comfort, to exhort,” literally, “to call alongside.” Paul doesn’t choose this word because of its Christian doctrinal association.  He chooses it because its connection to Jewish Greek in the LXX.

In the LXX the words are used for 15 Hebrew terms and also occur in free renderings. Mostly, however, they areused for nāḥam, and this makes “comfort” the main sense, especially in bereavement (Gen. 24:67). The verb in particular also refers to the comfort that God gives his people under judgment, or individuals in temptation.^[1]

By now we recognize that Paul is developing an argument from empathy.  He wants Philemon to feel what it’s like to be enslaved so that he will decide to treat Onesimus as a brother.  He plays the trump card of spiritual authority and then quickly removes it.  Trump cards are power plays. They aren’t sufficient to create real ethical change.  That must come from within.  We all know this.  Governments can legislate morality, but that doesn’t change personal ethics.  It just punishes those who don’t comply.  What must really happen is a change of heart.  So, Paul attempts to connect Philemon with the experience of slavery.  Paul is temporarily like a slave, imprisoned in Rome, but he is permanently enslaved to his Lord.  Philemon will empathize with Paul’s condition because Paul is a good friend and brother.  But once Philemon connects with Paul’s situation, his heart will also be changed toward others who are slaves, imprisoned by a social system rather than Imperial guards.  And that, Paul hopes, will be enough to change Philemon’s heart.

The word Paul chooses is particularly important here because it entails deliberate empathetic alignment.  To come alongside is to put yourself in the other man’s shoes, to feel what it’s like to be the other person.  That should produce a deep response, a connection that bonds both hearts in a common understanding and emotion.  Paul’s choice in these circumstances illuminates the use of the word in the Gospels.  It’s not simply a doctrinal title; it’s interdependence, relationship, and attachment.  When Yeshua speaks about a “comforter,” he implies all these terms.  Above all else, God empathizes with us.  In fact, perhaps the most important characteristic about the Hebrew God is that, unlike pagan deities, He cares.  If Philemon grasps this divine difference—if we embrace this too—then everything changes.  As Larry Douglas wrote to me, “I suppose I have learned not to confuse how life makes me feel with how God feels about me. About us. Those can be two very different things.”

Topical Index:  parakaléō, comfort, empathy, slavery, Philemon 1:9

^[1] Kittel, G., Friedrich, G., & Bromiley, G. W. (1985). Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, Abridged in One Volume (pp. 778–779). Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans.